Handling a Divorce – What Men Can Do to Get Over a Divorce

St. Valentine’s Day is coming. Yep, good old St Valentine’s Day, the day that-if your marriage is in trouble-comes at you like a psycho with a meat cleaver. public laws definition You know whatever you get her won’t be good enough, unless its money or jewelry, which at this point, are the only things she wants from you.
I was married for 25 wonderful years and then I wasn’t. The woman I married had been replaced with someone who hated me with a white-hot fury that I still don’t understand. I hadn’t changed other than gaining a few pounds over the years, as did she. I wasn’t abusive or a drunk or a philanderer. I battled alongside her when the kids went through adolescence and rode out the exciting adventure of menopause. I was a damn good husband.
So what the hell defamation lawsuit cost went wrong?
I needed to find out.
I met with other divorced men my age, men who had been married for 2 decades or more and as they told me their stories, I was amazed at the starling similarities in their break-ups. And that’s the thing. Books that advise women how to cope with divorce, menopause, empty nest syndrome etc, etc are everywhere. Because in our society, women are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, while men are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails, used condoms, vomit and road kill.
Everyone wants to help the poor, loving, devoted wife.
The stupid husband can go to hell.
No one tells us what to do when our wives decide our usefulness has come to an end. No one tells us that once the kids are raised and out on their own, we’re expected to head out with them or conveniently drop dead, either way is fine, just as long as you or your estate continues providing for all her needs.
No mention whatsoever is made about your needs.
That’s because all men’s needs are disgusting, vile and need not be considered. And when the disgustingly vile, low-life husband takes a mistress, everyone feels sorry for the poor, innocent wife.
No mention is made that the wife consistently refused to have sex with the husband over the past year, that she recoils from his very touch, or that she has been sleeping in the guest room every night.
No one questions why she is stomping around in public with an expression alternating between anger and tears. Why should they? The answer is obvious. The husband must have done something to bring about this emotional turmoil. What other explanation could there be?
How about this; she’s acting that way because she wants the neighbors to think she’s being abused, wants them to think you’re a vicious brute who’s making her life a living hell. This way everyone will think it’s your fault when she files for divorce.
What has happened, my friend, is you have been ambushed. She has delivered a preemptive strike and while you’re running around trying to figure out how to fix this, she’s smiling and nodding and preparing a final assault. She has already met with a lawyer, knows all the legal angles and is getting ready to use them against you because what you foolishly believe to be honest, true and forthright has absolutely nothing to do with divorce law.
Unfortunately too many men learn this the hard way.
So shut up and nut up, because this beating is going to go on for a while.
Society doesn’t provide books that explain how to handle the emotional devastation; the soul-searching men do, trying to figure out what they did wrong, or what to do when a huge part of their life doesn’t exist anymore. No one warns them of the legal tricks, financial manipulation, false accusations or sexual abandonment they’ll have to deal with.

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